媽媽，請不要介入我的愛情

故事一

 

　　42歲的William與35的Dora拍拖4年，為了滿足雙方的父母，兩人決定步人教堂。

 

　　兩人為了訂婚宴會的地點及參加者的人數起了小爭執，準新人原本是準備以小型派對低調慶祝，最終William都無奈接受Dora母親的意見，宴開八席。一波剛平，一波又起，踏入籌備婚禮的過程，由蛋糕到場地，攝影到典禮，兄弟姊妹團、司儀、音樂……有過百件事情有待二人處理，亦成為兩人的衝突。

 

　　Dora是獨女，她的媽媽當然希望女兒擁有最好的。為了安撫未婚妻與未來外母，William盡力讓步，很可惜，他的最好仍未達標。最後，William受夠了，並終止了婚禮。身為律師的William既不是吝嗇，又不是缺錢，他也想擁有一個美好的婚禮，但他總覺得沒有過份誇張的需要。在過程中，William對Dora優柔寡斷的態度，不能站穩自己的立場，更遑論撐她的未婚夫感到強烈不安繼而失去了尊重，他再難以想象與Dora共處一生。他的決定可能沒有錯。

 

故事二

 

　　38歲的David跟32歲的Fanny想要一個簡單的婚禮。David心目中的婚禮是邀請十多位親友到註冊處見證二人的簽字儀式，再共進午膳或晚餐。不過，事與願違，Fanny的媽媽為此憤怒不已，她要求在一個正式的宴會廳內擺20圍酒，再為100位親友送上喜餅，還要求David在他名下的物業上加上女兒的名字，而且要準備一筆不少於20萬的禮金來迎取女兒過門，做不到，就沒有婚禮！

 

　　婚禮最後搞不成，Fanny選擇與David同居，不與媽媽往來了。15年過去，他倆沒有孩子，因為Fanny不想當「未婚媽媽」，不想孩子揹著上惡名，而且生了小孩出來，自己的媽媽亦不會幫忙照顧。不過，David想要孩子，膝下無兒令他感到生活不完整，因因果果，他倆最後選擇分開。53歲的David在分手不久後再婚，並準備當爸爸了，至於Fanny，47歲的她仍然單身。

 

故事三

 

　　Carrie常以二名兒子為榮──Jason在哈佛畢業，Johnny則在牛津，兩人身材高大、聰明又英俊。因為爸爸常留在內地的關係，兩個兒子特別親媽媽，他倆是媽媽的驕傲與喜樂，是她世界的中心。

 

　　Susie是Jason的第一位女朋友，雖然是個好女仔，但沒有大學學位的她不是Carrie杯茶；第二位女友Maggie聰明又討人歡喜，不過她的爸爸是個已破產的前酒樓東主，在Carrie眼中當然提不上門當戶對。之後出現的無一合她心水，一天，兒子帶了新女友Jing Jing回家，Jing Jing是來自上海的辣妹──飄逸的長髮、厚重的妝容、極為短身及緊身的性感裙裝，把衣服下的美好身段表露無遺。

 

　　Carrie的不滿同樣表露無遺，但被Jason漠視。她向兒子發下最後通碟，但兒子沒有服從，戰事因而爆發。一天，Carrie回家看到半裸的Jing Jing與兒子躺在沙發上一起吸吃不知名的東西，她當場嚇壞了，與兩人爭執起來，並往Jing Jing臉上送上巴掌。Jason震怒，他告訴媽媽他愛這個女人，打算送自己的法拉利給她並會跟她結婚。Carrie把Jing Jing趕出家門，但Jason跟著走了。撑兄弟的Johnny亦在同一天離開家門。

 

　　Carrie的兩個兒子已有15個月的時間沒有跟她說一句話，即使在她的生日及母親節也不打一通電話問候，Carrie的世界崩塌了。

 

　　作為媒人，我可以從情侶的角度來看事情；作為母親，我確實感受到母親們的傷痛。請從這些真人真事中汲取教訓，在心中作記，嘗試用不同的方法去處理問題，但願類似的故事永遠不會在你的身上上演。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Mother Dear

 

Story 1

 

　　William 42 and Dora 35 had been going out for four years. To the relief of both parents, the couple was finally getting married.

 

　　There were minor arguments regarding where the engagement party should be held and how many people should be invited. William finally gave in, his idea of a small party ended up with 8 tables. Then came the planning of the wedding…from the cakes to the venue, from wedding photography to the ceremony, best men , bridesmaids,MC, music.. There were hundreds of items to be discussed and there were as many arguments.

 

　　As the only child, Dora’s mother wanted only the best for her daughter. In appeasing them, William had given in on most counts. Sadly,  it was still not good enough. Finally, William had enough and called off the wedding. As a lawyer, he is neither stingy nor poor. He too wanted a wonderful wedding, but without going over the top. He had lost a lot of respect for Dora for being indecisive, and for failing to stand up for herself and her man.  He could no longer envisage a life with her  and perhaps he wasn’t  wrong. 

 

Story 2

 

　　David 38 and Fanny 32 wanted a simple wedding. What David had in mind was to invite a dozen close friends and relatives to attend the short ceremony at the Registry,  followed by lunch or dinner.  Fanny’s mother was irate. Mother in law demanded 20 tables at a proper banquet, plus cakes for 100 relatives and friends…the immediate transfer of 50% of his apartment deeds to her daughter’s name, and a lucky Lai See of no less than HK$200,000.- Or else, she threatened, there would be no wedding !

 

　　There was no wedding. Fanny moved in with David, and had hardly spoken to her mom  since. That was 15 years ago. They never had children, because Fanny  didn’t feel right being an “unwed mom”, forcing upon her child the stigma of being a “bastard” born outside wedlock, not to mention the lack of child care support from her estranged mother… David had always wanted children, being childless made him feel unfulfilled… One thing led to another, they finally parted their ways . David  quickly “re-married” at 53, and elated that his wife is expecting their first child. Fanny at 47, remains single.

 

Story 3

 

　　Carrie had always been very proud of her two sons. Jason graduated from Harvard, Johnny from Oxford, both tall, smart and handsome. With dad mostly in China, the boys enjoyed close relationships with their mom. They were her pride and joy, the centre of her universe. 

 

　　Susie was Jason’s first girlfriend. A nice girl  who never went to university, hence not good enough for Carrie. Maggie the second was genuine and loving, but her father was an erstwhile Chinese restaurant owner who went bankrupt - miles away from Carrie’s idea of “bamboo door”… There were plenty others, but never quite right…One day, Jason came home one day with Jing Jing, a sexy vixen from Shanghai. She wore long hair, heavy makeup, an extremely short, tight, tantalizing dress revealing her full cleavage…

 

　　Carrie made no effort to hide her displeasure which Jason ignored. She gave Jason an ultimatum, he disobeyed, and war broke out. One day, Carrie came home to find Jing Jing spreading across the sofa half naked in the sitting room smoking something with Jason ! Flabbergasted, they started arguing and Carrie slapped Jing Jing across the face. Jason was furious how his mother treated his girlfriend, told her he loves her, had given her his Ferrari and was going to marry her…She threw Jing Jing out, but Jason followed.  Johnny also left home the same day in support of his brother.

 

　　The sons have not spoken to their mother since 15 months now, they have neither called her on her birthday nor on Mother’s Day. Carrie’s universe has collapsed.

 

　　As a matchmaker, I see it from the couples’ perspectives. As a mother, I certainly feel the mothers’ pain. Please learn from these true stories, make a mental note of how you would have handled each situation differently so that the same would never ever happen to you.

 

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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