上期談到寫長句子首重句子的各組成部分關係要清晰。今日再講講兩個寫長句子要特別注意的事項——簡潔(Concise)和平衡(Parallel)。

 

簡潔(Concise)

　　句子本身已經長，更不要加上無關痛癢的字詞，使句子長上加長。若果字眼無助豐富句子含意或達到修辭效果，就不要也罷，最常見有“the fact that”。例如：

 

　　Owing to the fact that the production cost has increased substantially in China, we have decided to relocate our factory.

 

　　“Owing to the fact that”可改用單字“Since”或“Because”。

 

　　又例如：

 

　　The fact that the products did not arrive on time has led to a series of complaints.

 

　　可改為The late arrival of the products has led to a series of complaints.

 

　　另外，肯定句比否定句簡潔，主動句也比被動句簡短。例如：

 

　　Please be reminded not to submit your report later than this Friday.

 

　　改為：

 

　　Please remember to submit your report by this Friday.

 

平衡(Parallel)

　　除了措辭，句子結構亦有助表達意思。在一句子中，要並列對比兩個或三個想法，最好選擇相同的語法表達，形成對偶工整的結構，突顯對比之餘，使句子讀起來更暢順，更易於理解。因為句子的某些部分共通，排比結構還可以減少重複，令句子更簡潔。例如：

 

　　Cycling is merely a type of leisure activities for most people, but it is for some people an obsession.

 

　　前半部的結構是Cycling is xxx for xxx，後半部也用it is xxx for xxx.較易懂，重複的people亦同時省掉。因此，這句應該寫成：

 

　　Cycling is merely a type of leisure activities for most people, but it is an obsession for some.

 

　　再舉一例：

 

　　The investors called the proposal avant-garde because of its supreme creativity, but it is too luxurious to be realistic.

 

　　可以改為對稱平衡的結構：

 

　　The investors called the proposal avant-garde because of its supreme creativity, but unrealistic because of its extreme luxury.

 

　　當然不是每句句子都可以寫得工整對稱，但可以的話，將句子前後部分寫得平衡對稱、形成既定的模式，讀起來一定更暢順。

 

　　最後，留意避免句子過長，囉嗦迂迴的句子一定難懂，太長就應該考慮分句，令句子更加清晰易明。

 

 《經濟通》所刊的署名及／或不署名文章，相關內容屬作者個人意見，並不代表《經濟通》立場，《經濟通》所扮演的角色是提供一個自由言論平台。

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