曾幾何時，中國人都經歷過艱苦的生活，女人們為了幫補家計，不惜遠嫁萬里，即是我們所謂的「過埠新娘」。對跨國聯姻的看法，時至今日還有不少人仍懷有舊想法，卻不知時代已轉變。現在西方國家，有許多人就業不足，而內地對人才有很大的渴求，故許多華裔，都有一顆熱切歸國的心。

　　2011年11月，加拿大商會舉辦了一個講座，由Paul Gibbons主持，會上證實了現時美國和歐洲的經濟每況愈下，反之中國的經濟增長加快，並且對人才有很大需求。雖然如此，中國的教育制度難以快速培育出一班有富有專業經驗的人士配合其經濟步伐，故很多西方的專業人士及管理精英都很有興趣來中國發展事業和定居。

　　當然「異地情緣」總會有些與外籍人士聯婚的機會，但是不能忽略的是，在外國定居的龎大華人社羣，有絕大的市場力量。事實上，目前大機構以高薪厚職所聘用的「入口精英」，多半都是從北美州「回流」的華人。

　　如果你對異地情緣心存疑慮的話，請先把主觀的看法放在一邊，先問自己一些具邏輯、經驗和客觀的問題。

　　1) 我們會因家人和朋友移居外地後而少愛他們嗎？

　　答：如果你認識的人當中沒有因家人和朋友移居外地，而減少對他們的愛，那證明遠距離不會影響你們的關係。

　　2) 我們當中有幾多人與家人、朋友同住一個國家/城市，但一年見面的次數不多於3-4次？

　　答：如果你認識的人中有人如是，那證明無論與對方距離多近，也不一定能令能感情和關係更好。

　　3) 現時國際商業社會如何運作？

　　答：現時國際商業社會大部分都是透過電郵、傳真、來電、skype、速遞等聯繫，只是偶爾才會親自面議。數十億的交易、商業聯盟、國家協商、經濟交涉、政治談判，就是戰爭與和平等等都不外是透過以上形式進行的。

　　4) 甚麼是「全球化」？

　　答：「全球化」的意思是指我們能踏出自己的圈子，與世界各地不同的人交流。現在我們大部分人都與客人、供應商或其他人有著深厚和密切的關係，甚至比同事間更親密。這樣說明有效的溝通不一定要面對面才可做到的。

　　5) 我與對方不常見面，關係可以有多深厚？

　　答：我先問你一個問題，如果想快點學會某種語言，你會選擇持續一年參加一星期兩小時的課堂還是短期速成班？我可以跟你說，專注勝於一切。同樣道理，可能你跟對方見面的時間少了，但正因這樣，你更會珍惜與對方相處的時間，做些有意義的事。所以有時短期接觸的營友或萍水相逢的朋友可成為一世老友。現時的企業多著重建立團隊精神，因為在科學上已證實了團隊所建立的專注精神和態度能連繫人與人之間的關係。

　　6) 不如我專心在本地找伴侶便好了，為甚麼我要為遠距離的愛情苦惱？

　　答：香港找男人並不困難，只是要找個好男人卻很難，要找個好丈夫更難！當中有很多原因，例如男女比例不平均、男人多數喜歡較年輕的女士、低離婚率等等，所以想在香港找個好丈夫並不容易。如果你將找伴侶的範圍擴大，不局限住自己，機會自然增加，這樣便可更快找到適合自己的伴侶啦！

　　7) 現時全球最成功的相睇方式是甚麼？

　　答：是網上相睇，現時千千萬萬的人都是在網上世界找到伴侶的。但這個方法也有弊端，就是要花的時間和精力非常龎大，而到最後可能發覺是一個騙局。相反如你經專業人士所辦的「跨國相睇」找伴侶，只與經過篩選的人士見過面後才保持溝通，事半功倍。這個方法不俗，值得單身人士考慮。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Long Distance Relationship

　　Once upon a time, we Chinese were poor. "Overseas Matching" meant "mail order brides" - women who would marry anyone anywhere so money could be sent home. This carried such a stigma that even today, many still shun away from the idea without wanting to know that times have changed. Today, there is a shortage of jobs in the west as there is a shortage of talent in China. Many people, especially Chinese who have once immigrated to other countries, are eager to come home.

　　The Canadian Chamber of Commerce hosted a talk by Paul Gibbons on 29/11/2011 confirming precisely this trend. The economy in the USA and Europe is deteriorating just as China's is continuing to grow, but the education system in China cannot produce an experienced work force fast enough to keep pace with her own growth, so the demand for talent is high. It follows that many western executives and professionals are now more interested to relocate eastward than ever before.

　　“Overseas matching” would no doubt open the possibility of meeting and marrying foreigners, but large Chinese communities are forces to be reckoned with. Half of the "expats" coming to Hong Kong today are in fact returning Chinese who have previously immigrated to North America. 

　　If you are skeptical about long distance relationships, try putting your emotion aside first and ask yourself some logical, empirical & clinical questions :

1) How many of us have families or friends living in another country - and we don't love them any less?

　　If you do or know of people who do, this means the inconvenience of distance does not necessarily erode a relationship.

2) How many of us have families or friends living in the same country or the same city and we don't see them more than 3-4 times a year?

　　If you do or know of people who do, this means the convenience of proximity does not necessarily enhance a relationship.

3) How does the international business world function?

　　By communications via emails, faxes, phone calls, skype, courier....with occasional visits in person. Business in billions of dollars have been transacted that way; allies have been formed, treaties have been signed, wars have been fought and won that way.

4) What is the meaning of “globalization”?

　　The ability to step outside our box and enjoy a social intercourse with people around the world. Many of us have an on-going relationship with a client, a supplier, an associate somewhere - a bond deeper and stronger than with the colleague sitting next to you . This means quality communications does not necessarily have to happen in person.

5) How deep can a relationship be when you don’t see enough of each other?

　　Which is a faster way to learn a language? 2 hours/week for a year or a crash course? Concentration wins every time. You may see each other less frequently, but when you do, you spend quality time together. This is how some“camp mates” or casual encounters can become lifelong friends...Modern corporations all swear by "team building" events- because it has been scientifically proven that the concentrated density of togetherness quickly creates special bonding among people.

6) Why should I bother with long distance relationships ? Why don't I just concentrate on finding a local relationship?

　　There is no shortage of men in HK, just a shortage of good men who want to be good husbands. Oh, so many reasons… gender imbalance…men prefering younger women… low divorce rate…etc.etc. the picking is slim indeed. By extending your search outside HK, the larger the pool, the larger the selection, and the quicker you are likely to find someone .

7) What is the most successful model in the dating world today?

　　On line. Millions of people have found love in cyber, the only down side is, you could be investing a lot of time and emotion just to find out that it is a scam. With professional “overseas matching”, you meet pre-screened guys first, so you actually know whom you are communicating with. Think about it.