Mary的男友和陌生女子在街上親吻，被同事撞破，Mary主動與他提出分手。Jenny發現有兩個美女在Peter家留宿，於是兩人爭吵起來。David臨時取消約會，在電話中沒有詳細解釋爽約的原因，語氣亦很差，Julia決定以後不再見他。

　　當聽到有人說怎樣與情人吵架或發脾氣時，我會感到難過和遺憾。無論當時吵架、發脾氣是出於妒忌、憤怒，還是誤解、猜疑；不論這些小事最後會不會令雙方分手，吵架始終對人沒任何好處。年輕人多對愛情抱有甜蜜幻想，但事實卻相反，愛情世界免不了吵吵鬧鬧，而爭吵只會令情侶的關係變差，更是導致分手的催化劑。

　　無論你的直覺有多準，也有機會出錯。在生活中，某些事並不是看起來這樣簡單，大家看看以下故事：

(a) 幾年前，一位年輕的共產主義者，為了反資本主義，在巴黎一場高尚的展覽內製造騷亂，他不僅用噴漆毀壞畢加索的畫作，還高叫口號，譴責畢加索的個人生活和畫作所表達的糜爛感。當然最後他被抓去坐牢。最諷刺的是，畢加索不僅不是資本主義者，而是一個偉大的共產主義者！

(b) 二千年前，最令人自豪的一句話是：" civis Romanus sum"（我是一個羅馬公民。）而現時最令人最驕傲的一句話："Ich bin ein Berliner"（我是一個柏林人。）這是1963年美國總統甘迺迪在西柏林演講時說的一句名言，意指「享有自由的人，無論住在哪裏，都是柏林的人民。」雖然他的演說感人，並不斷被人們引用，但實際上這句名言犯了文法錯誤。如說："I am Pekingnese"指「我是北京人」，但如果你說："I am a Pekingnese"，即指「我是一隻京巴狗。」同樣道理，"Ich bin Berliner"指「我是柏林人」，但甘迺迪的"Ich bin ein Berliner"這句子變成「我是果醬甜圈」。（柏林人稱果醬甜圈為Berliner ）。雖然這名句已在無數的國家、語言、書報中引用過數十年，聽過的人以千百萬計，並不等如名句必然是對的，而文法實在是錯的。

(c) 據說是哥倫布是首個發現新大陸（美洲）的人，但在哥倫布之前，維京人收到因紐特人情報，踏足美洲大陸，時間上足足比哥倫布早了五百年。只是美國人比維京人、因紐特人有更好的宣傳手法，善於為自己國家建立強大形象。美國人出書、拍電影、建雕塑和博物館，甚至慶祝哥倫布日，但並這不代表哥倫布是第一個發現美洲的人，因為歷史和科學證據已推翻了「哥倫布發現美洲」的理論。

　　說回到Mary身上，她的男友是法國人，在法式禮儀上，與女士親吻三下只是歡迎朋友。而Peter家中有兩位美女留宿的原因，只是那兩位女士是他的大學同學，兩位女士剛到香港旅行，為了省住宿費用，才到他家中留宿。至於David臨時取消與Julia的約會，是因為他當日患了重感冒，他吃了助手買給他的食物後感到非常不適，所以當日在電話中沒有氣力解釋爽約的原因和語氣不太好。

　　如果Mary和Jenny有寬容之心，忍著不大吵大罵或急於和對方分手，便有可能挽救雙方的感情。若Julia體貼一點，不要太自我中心，當男友取消約會時，應問問他有沒有事，是不是身體不舒服？而不是發脾氣，相信結局會不一樣。

　　雖然有時某些事物好像眼見為實，但有時直覺和假設都有出錯的機會，所以請大家記住以上例子，更要明白「眼見未必為實」的道理。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Not What It Seems

　　Mary initiated the break up with Jacque because her colleague saw him kissing another woman on the street, went back to the office and told her, she was terribly upset. Jenny picked a huge argument with Peter because she found two beautiful women staying in his apartment. Julia is not seeing David any more, she is angry because not only did he cancel their date at short notice, he was brief & abrupt on the phone…

　　We are always deeply saddened by clients who throw tantrum or pick arguments with their partners, whether out of jealousy, anger, misunderstanding or suspicion of wrong doing. Regardless whether this interlude eventually leads to a break up or not, it never does anybody any good. Contrary to some teenage fantasy that “making up” is sweet, the truth is that any argument actually erodes the fabric of your relationship and will eventually hasten its demise.

　　You may indeed have a strong sense of intuition at times, but you must also allow yourself to be wrong some of the times. Sometimes, things are simply not what they seem to be - regardless.

　　Here are a few stories:

(A) A young communist activist disrupted an elegant art exhibition in Paris several years ago, spray painted a couple of Picasso’s paintings out of defiance against the decadence of Capitalism, shouting slogans that the artist and his work epitomize the stench of debauchery. He was arrested and jailed. The irony of it all is that not only is Picasso himself not a capitalist, he is in fact the biggest Communist of all times, the activist’s comrade !

(B) 2000 years ago the proudest boast was civis Romanus sum ["I am a Roman citizen"]. Today, it is "Ich bin ein Berliner" ( "I am a Berliner") a quote from President Kennedy’s 1963 speech in West Berlin,  considered one of his best. Meaning all free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin… Very touching, but grammatically incorrect. Like “I am Pekingnese” would mean I am a citizen of Beijing, but “I am a Pekingnese” actually means I am a hairy dog. Likewise, “Ich bin Berliner” would mean “I am a citizen of Berlin”, but “ ich bin ein Berliner”  means “ I am a jam doughnut”. This may have been repeated in thousands of books, countries and languages for decades, read & heard by millions, but the fact still remains that it is wrong.

(C) Christopher Columbus was said to have discovered America. The truth is, he did not. The Vikings were there 500 years before him, and the Inuits had told the Vikings about it. It is just that the Americans have more sophisticated propaganda machineries creating more powerful hypes than both the Vikings and the Inuits could do together…They make movies, publish books, erect statues, build museums & even celebrate a Columbus Day…but all that do not make the story true, because history and concrete scientific evidences prove otherwise.

　　Back to Mary, Jacque is French, and for them the ritual of kissing a woman three times on the cheek is simply a warm greeting among friends, nothing more. Regarding Peter, the two ladies staying with him were friends from university days passing through Hong Kong. Staying with him saves hotel expenses. David cancelled his date with Julia because he had a bad cold; his well meant assistant brought him some food which then gave him food poisoning. He was abrupt on the phone because he was violently ill and truly miserable.

　　Both Mary & Jenny could have saved their relationships if they had been a bit more broad minded instead of shoot first and talk later. Julia could have been a bit more considerate and a bit less self centred. Instead of showing her wrath about the way he cancelled the date, asking about his health would have been nice.

　　Sometimes no matter how plausible a situation might appear to be on the surface, your assumptions may still be wrong. Remember the stories. Not what it seems.