莊子筆下的毛嬙和麗姬均是絕色美人，可是，魚看到她們會潛入水底；鳥會高飛遠去；鹿會逃回森林。為何這些動物不如村民般凝神欣賞她們的美貌？難道它們看不到村民所見的？藉著這個簡單故事，莊子解釋了以不同角度去了解事物是何等重要。

　　兩條一樣長的直線，及燭台這些熟悉的影像告訴我們初見非實，同一件事每次看總有新的睇法。電影《暴雨驕陽》中，Mr. Keating鼓勵他的學生站在桌上，以全新的視野看教室。桌上風光全然不同。以不同角度看宏觀世界是種重要的技能，可是，這種技能常被忽視。我們偏向把持己見，並預料世人會如我們般所思所想。當別人持有不同的意見，我們會激動沮喪，這基本是所有爭執的由來。想想美國與俄羅斯在烏克蘭的周旋，台灣學生與政府的角力，猶太人與阿拉伯人的對峙，以及一系列持續不休的紛擾。

　　愛因斯坦曾說「以產生問題的思考層面來解決問題是不可行的。」以集體利益的層面來看，若你細看現有的戰爭問題，必然是雙方均有理在手。從他們的角度出發，他們的行為固然完全合乎邏輯與公義，敵方永遠是錯誤的。要加入他方的觀點，需要勇氣、理解力、謙遜與氣度，而且當中困難重重，有時更為痛苦，但達到此舉，雙方得到的不只是妥協而是真正的解決辦法。

　　在個人層面上，有些令人享受及放鬆的情況可能令他人感到非常不適。「他們在我背後嘲笑我，因為他們全部人都認為我不夠好……」根據Butler、Fennel及 Hackman的認知行為治療，這種扭曲任何對立的資訊，使資訊與個人信念一致的的想法為「Mental Crusher」。Anais Nin曾言：「我們不是以事物的本質看事，而是以自己看事。」我們合理化自己的世界，闡釋他人所言及根據自己的經歷、文化及核心價值行事。

　　建立以不同角度看待事情的能力為何如此重要？這種能力使我們成為更好的人，更有同理心，更懂得包容，更容易栽培一段關係。一個人如何能看透別人的雙眼？最好的方法是以同理心傾聽，即是你聆聽別人的想法，並嘗試去看他/她看到的世界。這不代表你需要放棄自己的觀點。你只需要在自己的想法上多加一面，如是者你會看到問題的全面及事情的全貌。這使你更懂得包容。

　　先嘗試了解，後而理解。擴闊個人視野的過程同樣是你的成長過程。這個過程使你注意到更深層的道理，又在想法上突破自我。學習包容別人的意見及與此自然而處是維繫任何一段長久關係的秘訣。

　　Wayne Dyer說：「如果你改變對事情的看法，你看的事情會改變。」

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Different Perspectives

　　Zhuangzi’s Mao Qiang and Li Ji were world class beauties. Yet when the fish saw them, they would dive to the bottom of the river. When the birds saw them, they would fly away quickly. When the deer saw them, they would run away into the forest. Why didn’t they linger to admire their beauty as all the people in the village did ? Did they not see what the villagers saw? With this simple little story, Zhuangzi illustrated the significance of understanding different perspectives.

　　The familiar images of two straight lines of equal length and a candlestick show us that things are often not as they first seem, and there’s almost always a different perspective. In the movie Dead Poets Society, the teacher Mr. Keating encourages his students to stand on the desks to look at the classroom from a new perspective. It indeed looks very different from up there. The ability to see the world at multiple perspectives is an important cultivated skill, yet all too often ignored. We have the tendency to form our own opinions and then expect the rest of the world to see and think the same way we do. We get emotional and upset if others have a different opinion, that’s fundamentally what an argument is all about. Think of the Americans and Russians on Ukraine, the students and the government in Taiwan…the Jews and the Arabs…and the list continues.

　　According to Albert Einstein “Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” On a collective level, if you look at the current problems of wars, of course both sides think they are right. From their perspective their actions are totally logical and justified and the enemy is always wrong. It takes courage, intelligence, humility and magnanimity  to include the perspective of the other party, often immensely difficult and sometimes painful, but when this happens, it can lead to true solutions instead of compromises.

　　On a personal level, situations in which others present find enjoyable and relaxing, another person may feel totally uncomfortable. “they are laughing at me behind my back because they all think I am not good enough…”. According to Butler, Fennel & Hackman’s Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, this is the “Mental Crusher” which would twist and turn any contrary information to fit with one’s own beliefs. Anais Nin once said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” We make sense of our world and interpret what others say and do according to OUR own set of past experiences, culture, and core values.

　　So why is it important to develop the ability to see from different perspectives? it makes us better people, more understanding, more accommodating, easier to cultivate relationships. And how does one see through the eyes of another person? The best way is by empathetic listening. This means that you listen to the other person and try to see the world as he/she sees it. This does not mean that you give up your own perspective. It only means you add another dimension to your point of view, i.e. you get to see all sides of a problem and the total picture of the whole issue. It makes you more tolerant.

　　Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The process of broadening your own perspective is also the process of personal growth. It is the process of becoming aware of deeper principles and of including more than our own ego into our perspective. Learning to make room for another person’s opinion and be comfortable enough to live with it is the secret of sustainability in any relationship.

　　“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer